Plan B is the new Plan A
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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