she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
