Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
