jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
