will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
