in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize