Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
