remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
