i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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