No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
