ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
