your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
