how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
