your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
