I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
