I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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