I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
