he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
All I want is dick and wine.
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