it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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