I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
