Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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