You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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