What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
