Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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