There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
