i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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