i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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