Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
