I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
