i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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