careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
