So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
