goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
