and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
