I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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