i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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