Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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