i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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