Rock
Scissors
Fuck
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
