What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
