Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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