a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize