i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
