Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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