Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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