I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
