sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
