he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Randomize
