Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
false alarm. still invincible.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
