She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
