...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
