carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize