what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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