You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
