Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
