i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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