thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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