Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
