I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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