i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
